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Elsewhere.

“And that’s how it’s done!” Chatted Hugo.

By this time, Liebhaber had no idea what was going on. His eyes wandered around while words flooded into one side of his ear and came flooding out the other. As his eye’s danced around, he noticed something peculiar. A greenish misty fog-like was forming, it was swirly, twirling and whirling without a sound. He thought to himself maybe he had gone a bit mad, a bit insane, a bit deranged, or it could be that he was very dehydrated. Dehydration does wonder to your mind and body. Maybe because of that, he is not functioning normally, or it could be Hugo's fault, or maybe both. Liebhaber checked on Sivard to see if he had noticed it too. So far Sivard hasn’t moved at all, he was just still. It was quite hard to see his face due to the sunhat he was wearing was lowered to cover a good portion of his face. 

He looked at Hugo as well, but Hugo was in a trance, chit-chatting away, and his arms and hands flailing around. He obviously hasn’t noticed. Maybe it really is all in his head. Liebhaber ogled the mysterious green fog, he pinched himself on the cheek, gave himself a slap on the face and a bite on his tongue to make sure he wasn’t dreaming or being delirious. Turns out he wasn’t dreaming or delirious, and those were actually very painful to do so, especially biting his own tongue, he decided to never do them again. 

The continuous gaze continued, without warning like a bubble popping, the greenish smog dispersed and disappeared, revealing three individuals. They wore such strange clothing, it was like a robe-like, cloak-like, dressing gown-like outfit, covering the whole body with a plain looking mask with an insignia of a circle with a cross placed on the forehead, all of it was coloured in a vast array of colours in the likes of green, brown, yellow, white, red, orange, blue and pastels. It was a ridiculous and bizarre sight to behold.

Liebhaber roughly rubbed his eyes, as the three unusual individuals were walking towards them. Hugo kept on ranting about something, Liebhaber Junge started slapping both his checks until they were puffed and bright red.

“Greetings gentlemen!” Boomed the middle person of the trio.

“What the?!?!” Screeched Hugo. “You scared the living crap out of me! Who the hell are you lot?!?! What the hell are you wearing?!?!”

“We are your worst enemies.” The middle person replied.

“What?!?! You’re with the other competitors?!?!”

“Nae. We’re not associated with any of your rival businesses.”

“What!?!? Don’t tell me you from the IRD!!!! I paid my taxes!!!! Always had and always will!!!! I have proof!!!!”

“Nae. We are not from the IRD.”

“Thank Goodness!!!! Then who the hell are you lot?!?! HA! Judging by your ridiculous clothes! You must be foreign investors trying to take my property! Only foreigners wear something that silly! You aren’t having it! I will not sell my property! This farm has been in my family for two generations!”

“We are not foreign investors, nor do we want to buy your property. But we do plan on taking something.”

“NO!!!! You’re after my boys!!!! So that’s it!!!! You dirty nasty lot must be hired by the Danvers!!!! They were jealous that my boys won the gold medal in the last tournament!!!! You’re after my boys!!!! I’ll never let you have them!!!! I’ll kill you!!!! I’ll protect them with my life!!!! They’re my family after all!!!! And family stick together no matter what!!!!”

“Please. We’re not after the lives of innocent animals, nor do we work for the Danvers.”

“Then who the hell are you guys?!?!”

“We are the Knights of ‘The Crusade Of The Holy Righteous Knightly Order Organization For The Protection Of Animal Rights And Mostly For The Environment’. It’s abbreviated as ‘TCOTHRKOOFTPOARAMFTE’ for short.”

“How the hell do you even pronounce that?!?!”

“It is so simple.”

“No, it’s not!!!!”

“Yes, yes, it is. We’re had enough dilly-dally. Let’s get straight to business. My name is Lango Sigar, and I have come here to complete my mission, Mr Taylor.”

“How the hell do you know my name?!?!”

“We know everything about you, Mr Taylor. You have a daughter named Lizz, a wife called Sugo, and you happened to be 152.40 centimetres tall, weighing at 68 kilograms, a fat little midget to be precise.”

“That’s rude!!!!”

“Mr Taylor, right now you must be so confused. I shall do my absolute best to explain everything so that your simple humble boondock mind can comprehend.”

“Hey wat-”

“HUSH! Mr Taylor, that is extremely rude. It is poor manners to interrupt someone when they are speaking. Please refrain yourself. I shall begin. These two gentlemen here with me are my minions. As I have stated before, we are the Knights of ‘The Crusade Of The Holy Righteous Knightly Order Organization For The Protection Of Animal Rights And Mostly For The Environment’, also abbreviated as ‘TCOTHRKOOFTPOARAMFTE’ for short. The abbreviation is very easy to pronounce, once you get used to it. It really is. As our order suggests, we are warriors that defend animals and mostly the environment. We are here to kill you and your family, and free these animals from their shackles.”

“Are you messing with me?!?!”

“We are not messing with you, Mr Taylor. In fact, you are too much of a minger to be messed with.”

“And you’re a muppet!!!! And you lot are out of your minds!!!! What have I or my family done to you lot!!!!”

“For being farmers Mr Taylor.”

“Are you kidding me!!!! For being farmers!!!! You crazed lot are insane!!!!”

“Please don’t be absurd, Mr Taylor. We are very mentally healthy. One of the many requirements to join this order is to have a healthy and sound mind. All applicants must go through a process to evaluate their mental health as well as their physical well-being. All members have a doctor’s certificate to prove that we are very healthy. I can show you my doctor's certificate Mr Taylor, I always carry it with me.”

“I don’t care about your stupid certificate, and you lot are still bloody insane!!!!”

“Mr Taylor you really should listen to others very carefully, I just told you I have a doctor's certificate to prove I'm not insane.”

“I don’t care about your doctor!”

“She’s an excellent doctor. She graduated from the University of Cohort Dow. It’s the second-best university for medical related fields.”

“I don’t give a crap about her degree or her university!!!! You all insane!!!!”

At some point in their conversation, Liebhaber just realised he wasn’t dreaming or hallucinating from dehydration, and that he was somewhat mentally stable and probably overreacted a little too much. Furthermore, he was so confused on what was currently going on, he thought to himself, that the best option available to him as of right now, was to just sit tight on his horse, and let these weirdos talk it out.

“You’re a bunch of jackasses!!!! Why the heck would you destroy my enclosure!!!!”

“To emancipate the animals, for their freedom.”

“What are you on about!!!! They are as free as I am!!!! They’re happy where they are!!!!”

“Don't be foolish. All animals should be running free and wild. Not encased inside a prison, Mr Taylor.”

“Farms aren’t prisons, you doofus!!!!”

“I beg to differ. These innocent animals are forced as slaves, and they are constantly tortured by the prisons that encapsulate them."

“You got to be kidding if you believe in that nonsense!!!!”

“This is the truth, Mr Taylor. What makes them even worse is that these prisons are a breeding ground for pollution.”

“Pollution?!?!”

“Yes, Mr Taylor Pollution.”

“What nonsense are you going to say now!”

“What I am about to say are not nonsense at all Mr Taylor. These are the truth. I shall educate you, Mr Taylor. Farmers are the source of all evil. You, dairy farmers, are careless, incompetent and bring nothing but destruction, your kind is responsible for making animals urinate in the rivers, lakes, oceans, ponds, causing precious water to be polluted, no longer safe to drink, swim nor be of any use. Because of dairy farmers, the environment is suffering from sediment. Nitrogen produced by cow urine is having a major detrimental effect on the waterways. These cows urinate in huge volumes in such small areas, the land and the plants can't cope with it and it makes its way through the soil. Depending on soil moisture, levels of rainfall and a whole lot of other factors, most of the poisons makes its way through the ground to lakes to rivers to streams to all the waterways. These nitrogens can create toxic algae, corrupt and clog up the rivers and streams, making them all brown and filthy. What's even worse is that the sediment then forms a mat over the bed of the waterways, it cuts off all the habitat for the life in it. Once it starts to move on the land it takes a long time to slow down. If it gets in our waterways it takes a long time to get out, because of these it results in our beautiful rivers and streams to shrivel, groundwater to fall in certain overburdened spots, damages to the native species like the flora, fauna and freshwater fishes cannot be undone. Your disease-ridden kin dumps cow faeces in our precious holy water. These contain dangerous bacteria that can harm native species, turning these waters into a stream of diarrhoea, and no one likes diarrhoea, Mr Taylor."

“First of all. I’m not a dairy farmer you idiot!!!! Do I look like I run a dairy farm?!?! I’m a man of wool!!!! A proud and mighty wool farmer I am!!!! You twit!!!! Look over there!!!! Where my boys are at!!!! That’s sheep!!!! Sheep!!!! My boys are herding sheep!!!! Not cows!!!! You twat!!!!”

Lango Sigar looked over where the sheep and the boys were at, then he looked back at Hugo straight into his eyes, calmly and eloquently said to the small chubby man, “It doesn't matter. You're still a farmer. You all cause pollution and suffering to animals.”

“You’re a moron!!!!”

“Don't be so foolish Mr Taylor. This nation has been ruined because of your people. This country used to be so beautiful with so many forests and nature, but alas it is all been deforested. Now it is one of the most deforested nations on this planet. Because of disease such as yourself, we only have roughly around 25% of native forests left untouched, and more than 95% of native wetlands had been desecrated. If they weren’t destroyed, they would have played a major role in protecting waterways from pollution and be in harmony with nature. Because of all these our waterways are now paying the ultimate price. That is why the order that I am gladly part of will do whatever it takes to destroy anyone and any organisation that dares to harm the environment and animal abusers.”

“Listening to you is painful!!!! Farmers aren’t pollution makers like you claim.”

“We do not claim, we speak nothing but the truth.”

“Bullshit!!!!”

“Nae.”

“You know nothing about farming!!!!”

"We know everything, Mr Taylor."

“If you did know, you lot would know that we farmers do our very best to help clean out the environment and to reduce pollution whenever possible in our line of work no matter the industry!!!! Farmers all around the country, have fenced off thousands of kilometres of rivers to prevent livestock from wading in!!!! We don’t let our animals just piss and poop anywhere and whenever!!!! That’s completely stupid!!!! We coordinate and plan out everything to reduce as much pollution as possible!!!! As of right now, trees are being planted along waterways to curb erosions, we use the most advanced sophisticated techniques based around science and logic!!!! For example, farmers can buy and sell nitrogen allowances in a cap-and-trade scheme!!!! A technique called precision irrigation will curb both water consumption and the leaching of nitrogen!!!! Farmers aren’t as stupid, foolish, and causing pollution as you think!!!! All of us follow the law!!!! We do our absolute best to reduce pollution, come up with innovative ways to improve agriculture and other industries, we also pool in our own resources to help the local communities, for example offering free samples of our products, use our own money to combat pollution and help defend and support animal rights!!!! It is easy to simply point the finger at any farming industry, but we aren’t the only ones causing pollution!!!! Everyone in some way or another is actually causing pollution without them knowing they are!!!! The construction industry causes air pollution and noise pollution!!!! And I’m sure even you lot cause pollution!!!! HA!!!!”

“Nae! Talk to the hand!”

“I bet you support the fart tax!!!!”

“I do and the burp and poop tax too.”

“Alright!!!! You lot are hopeless!!!!”

“If farmers weren’t around, these animals will just be pissing and pooing everywhere!!!! If this happens, it will ruin your beloved environment even further!!!! Without us, maintaining order, the environment will be in an even worse situation!!!! Animals need us farmers, and we farmers need animals to support a healthy, stable, and profitable industry that benefits everyone, even the animals!!!! If farmers never existed, you lot will be killing animals to save your precious environment!!!! HA!!!! By killing all the animals, the pollution problem will be solved!!!! HA!!!!”

“Nae! Such heresy! Words such as those will end you, Mr Taylor. Animals and nature can co-exist peacefully, without pollution.”

The ranting between these two individuals continued. Sivard was still asleep, and Liebhaber Junge von Liebhaberland had no idea what was even going on! Plus he didn’t want to know what was going on, he didn’t care on what was even going on and he did not want to be part of this fiasco. He just wanted to complete his task. Was that too much to ask? Liebhaber Junge decided that the best course of action was to be a bystander. Just pretend that he is listening and know what’s going on. Nod every now and then. Look serious when needed. Just repeat this until they finish. The young lover thought this will take a very long time. So painfully so. And he was correct.

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RoseZer0
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RoseZer0 Author a month ago

Because of uni, i won't be posting anything until the 7th of June

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