"Wait. If you're complaining about me wasting time. Why didn't you stop me earlier?"
"Well isn't it obvious?"
"Oh. Well, you were enjoying yourself so much, how could I have stopped your performance. If I even dared to interrupt you it would have been extremely indignant. You were even in tears during your show. An excellent performance it was. But of course, it was longer than I had expected it to be, so I had to intervene, knowing the full risks involved."
"Huh. Well, was it really that good?"
"It was magnificent. A world-class performance in the likes that I had never ever seen before."
"Hahahahahahahahaha! Well, I do have great skills and talents in these disciplines. But this industry is something that I will never enter through."
"Why is that?"
"I will rather be helping people. Improving the lives of individuals and communities is what I prefer to do."
"I see. That's very kind of you."
"I know. I'm a kind guy. Nice too. Not only that, actors, actresses, playwrights, and directors are so obnoxious, pretentious, ignorant, and arrogant. These are the type of people that will do anything for money and attention. They're a bunch of annoying self-loving, overindulgent fatties, who live in a self-centred world living in a delusional fantasy. Those celebrity bubbles they created for themselves for their safe space, they are so unbelievably audacious! They even have the nerve to tell people how they should live their lives! How to act, how to behave, how to think, and what they should be supporting! These people can't even follow their own principles that they made up and preach to others! They're all hypocrites! Disgusting insecure individuals who need attention to validate themselves! They have no respect, no principle, no integrity and no honour!"
"Well! That's enough chit-chat! It's finally time to decide what suit to wear. If it's heads, I'll wear the dark black suit. If it's tails, I'll wear the light navy-blue suit. Here we go!"
I flipped the coin into the air and caught it with my right hand. It landed on heads. Fate has decided that I will wear a dark black suit! So be it! I got the dark black suit on and checked myself in the mirror once more. I looked great!
It's interesting that people all around the world had created the idea that individuals must dress properly to present yourself nicely to them. The world in a way is all about appearances. If you don't look good you are mocked, ridiculed, bullied, even your job prospects will be affected, people and society will even shun and expunge individuals because they believe you are inferior and don't deserve to be associated with them.
It really is a cruel, terrifying and sad thing. The world expects individuals to conform to their ideals, thus crippling a person's identity and destroying their freedom in expressing themselves, they are being warped to the ideals of others, rather than staying true to their own ideals.
When you think about it again, it really is a mad world. If only I had the power to change that! Sadly, I do not. I could defy the notion for this very moment. I could decide not to care about appearances and not wear the suit and wear something more casual usually what I wear on a day to day basis. But! At the same time, it would be insulting Rudolf who had prepared all these suits for me! He spent his precious time to work all of these out, and to make me appear fantastic! He did this because he wanted me to stand out, be above all others! He wanted the best for me! If I deny all his hard work that would be the biggest insult to him!
"Do forgive me for intruding your external monologue. I assure you that I don't mind whatever decision you make. Also, you don't have to worry about me wasting my time, it's my job to help you in any way possible. You are the one paying me to do it after all. So, it's only natural that you order me around. It is my job. I am a butler after all." Assured Rudolf.
"Be quiet Rudolf, your ruining my train of thought! This is very important!"
"A thousand apologies."
Fifteen minutes later.
I decided to wear the suit. Might as well use this thing. Would be a waste if I didn't.
"Rudolf. Throw away all the other suits except the butterfly one and the light navy-blue one."
"As you wish."
"Rudolf! Let us finally meet the guests!"
"Before we do that, I think it will be best for you, to make a premade script instead of just waltzing in there and started rambling."
"There is the possibility, due to the stress, anxiety and pressure that has been building up in you that may lead you to mumble, bumble and stumble when you speak to them. If this happens you will make a fool of yourself. Making all that effort that went today will go down the drain."
"Additionally, sometimes you fantasize, and if that happens during your meeting, your guests will have to painfully listen to your external monologues. Who knows how long it may last. But then again, they will be travelling with you until your mission is over. Eventually, they will discover this trait of yours either way, soon or later. They will eventually get used to it by then. But, then again, today is a special day for you, the day that you present yourself as their superior, their lord and master, their new client, their new boss, their team leader. If you make a premade script like a speech or a presentation and focus on remembering the contents, and after all is done the first meeting is over and you go on your way."
"I get it."
"By focusing on this alone, this will help you prevent yourself fantasizing randomly."
"There is truth to this. I think."
"Present day, as well as past great leaders, had always made premade scripts of various kinds. Most if not all speeches and presentations they performed were all premade. In fact, most if not all of them were written by their subordinates and not themselves. If needed, I will help you create one."
"Alright. What do you have in mind?"
Rudolf pulled out some pieces of paper out from his pocket. He then gave me one of them to read. Man, the old man is prepared! He's always prepared! I read every one of them, and I have to say, they are all easy to remember. Excellent, I won't have any trouble at all.
I chose the one that was the most fitting. Of course, we edited this script multiple times to better suit my taste, needs and to make it a bit more easier to remember.
This presentation will make me more grand, charming, have a sense of authority and control, fitting for a hero such as myself. Before we departed, we began practising the premade script multiple times. Correcting each mistake I keep making until I reach perfection.
"I don't recommend leaning to forward when you speak." Said, Rudolf.
"Why is that?"
"You'll appear like a con-artist trying to sell fake goods, fake services, or trying to get innocent people to sign up to a loan-shark contract, or a politician trying to sell policies to potential customers."
I tried again.
"Alright, this time, try not to lean so much backwards. It makes you look like a drunk. Or a man on drugs. Try to posture yourself straighter, more centred with your chest out a bit. This will make you appear more comfortable with the environment and in control."
"Well not quite. Your puffing out your chest too much, you appear like a woman who is very well-endowed and loves showing off her cleavage. Try it again. Yes, much better. Also, try to add some hand gestures, your hands are too stiff."
I tried out some hand gestures and moved them through the air majestically.
"Is this fine?"
"No. It looks like you got Parkinson's disease."
"Thought it'll look cool, stylish, fantastic!"
"No. Let's just not do that."
"Fine, fine, fine."
"You got clean white teeth, so try to smile more, it'll make you more appealing, positive and charming."
I put out my best smile I could make.
"How do I look now?"
"Forgive me. Please forget what I said. Don't force yourself to smile ever again. You look like a paedophile."
"Look at yourself in the mirror."
"I look beautiful!"
"You have the pedo-smile."
"Look at yourself again."
"Uh, I don't look that bad. I just can't do a forced smile, that's all. Smiles must be natural and genuine that's how it should be."
"Indeed. Let us continue."
"Judging by your hair, we have nothing to be concerned about, no split ends, tidy and clean. However, your eyebrows, on the other hand, try your best not to furrow them, it looks like your constipated."
"Is this fine."
"Excellent. Now try to move your head a bit. You're far too rigid."
I started tilting and moving my head around.
"Stop for just a moment. Don't do that again, you look like a bobblehead at a dance club."
"This is harder than I imagined."
"Of course. Truly great leaders are masters of speech and body language. It is not a simple task to master. Let us try again."
"All right, you got it. Now the other problem is that you're staring so intensely. You look like you want to assault someone."
"How about now?"
"Alright, much better, but this time try your best not to let your eyes wander around so much, it looks like your checking out for any cops in the area. Try to look at the centre between my eyes, and try not to intensely stare at me, be calm."
"I get it."
"Marvellous. The other issue is that you talk way too loudly. It's really annoying to most people. No one likes a person that talks very loudly. Try to tone it down a notch."
I restarted and reduced my volume as best as I could.
"Now you are talking too quietly. No one can hear you now. People will assume you are timid and weak. And easy to abuse."
"But talking quietly has nothing to do with being timid or weak."
"I know. However, some people think that way. It cannot be helped. Let us continue again."
I restarted the script again, and once more Rudolf stopped me.
"Much better than all the previous tries, however, you're now talking too fast. We're not running a marathon here. Unfortunately, some people won't be able to understand you. Try to slow down."
I restarted again.
"Alright, now we got a different problem. Your speaking far too slow."
"But slow and steady wins the race."
"Not in this case."
I tried it again, this time I tried to mix it up a bit. I started slowly then I built up my pace.
"Stop. Slightly better than the last time. I see what you did there. But it won't work. It just sounds ridiculous. Starting it slow and ending it with incredible speed just won't do. Just speak at a modest pace."
"I thought it was clever. You know. Building up the atmosphere. Making it more fast paced, action packed! Getting the crowd excited! You know? Like that!"
"No. Just speak normally."
"Fine. But it was a good idea."
"No, it wasn't. Let us try again. This time without the added effects."