Previous Next


Liebhaber Junge von Liebhaberland plunges his mighty blade into the heart of the evil, vile, hideous, disgusting and incredibly unbelievably ugly bitch witch. She screams out in pain, spitting and coughing up her vile poisonous blood. She whispers words of hatred and curses to him, his loved one, to his butler and to his new best friends he had made throughout this epic journey to slay this evil bitch witch. Liebhaber had finally done it. He had finally slain this entity of evil that stole his fiancée Liebhaberin Mädchen away from him. The witch must have stolen his fiancée because Liebhaberin was the most beautiful woman in the whole world! Wait! No! The whole galaxy! Wait! No! The whole universe! Wait! No! The whole multiverse! The witch was so jealous of her immerse incredible unbelievable beauty. Not only that, she was so jealous because Liebhaberin had such a magnificent fiancé. He was so cool, awesome, strong, wealthy, was an aristocrat, beautiful, handsome, had awesome best friends and an astounding butler called Rudolf who had an astonishing personality with amazing work ethics.

This breath-taking fiancé had a perfectly charming smile that could capture any soul, his very breath was fresh and minty, he had alluring sparkling emerald eyes that could seduce any women and even men both straight and gay, his radiant white teeth could outshine the stars themselves, his voice was ethereal as if he was an angel from the heavens, his very soul was as pure and clear as the summer skies, he was perfection incarnate. What women wouldn't want Liebhaber Junge von Liebhaberland as their fiancé?

No men could love that witch. There is a saying, "a face that only a mother could love". This can not apply to the witch, because no mother could love a face like hers, even her own.

Out of the blue, Liebhaber heard his name being called out from behind. It was a voice so familiar. He knew who it was. It was the love of his life. Liebhaberin Mädchen. He turned around. She was only 3 feet away from him. Both of them in tears of joy and a sense of melancholy.

Liebhaber. Honestly, I don't know what to say in this situation.

Liebhaberin. Me neither.

Liebhaber. You look awful.

Liebhaberin. I know. The witch only fed me lettuce and bread.

Liebhaber [looking sad] That's just sad. Did she at least feed you twice or thrice a day?

Liebhaberin. Only once a day.

Liebhaber [looking very sad] What about drinks? What were you given to drink?

Liebhaberin. Only water.

Liebhaber [looking very sad with teary eyes] Horrible! Not even tea was given! Absolutely horrible!

Liebhaberin. I know.

Liebhaber [looking very sad with tears dribbling down his face] Did the witch at least give you one special meal? Once in a while? Like the Wiener Schnitzel?

Liebhaberin. No, she wouldn't accept a request for one special meal. I asked for the Great Wiener Schnitzel because it is an important traditional dish of our culture, but she laughed and insulted it, saying it's the worst food ever!

Liebhaber [looking very incredibly sad with an incredible amount of tears falling down his face and anger, that too] NOT EVEN THE GREAT WIENER SCHNITZEL!!!!!! UNSPEAKABLE!!!!!! TRULY SHE IS EVIL ITSELF. THE WORLD HAS BEEN CLEANSED FROM THIS FILTH. THE WORLD IS BETTER NOW. HOW DARE SHE INSULT THE GREATEST DISH IN THE WHOLE WORLD, THE WHOLE UNIVERSE, THE WHOLE MULTIVERSE!!!!!!!! UNFORGIVEABLE!!!!!!!!!!!!! That's it! The first meal we're having together is going to be the great Wiener Schnitzel!

Liebhaberin [positively surprised] You're the greatest you know!

Liebhaber [smiling] I know.

Liebhaberin [smiling and taking a few steps closer to Liebhaber, and with her index finger she poked on the butterfly symbol imprinted on the centre of the chest of his amazing awesome looking armour that words cannot possibly describe] I can't believe that you remembered about the butterfly!

Liebhaber [using both of his hand, Liebhaber gently wrapped his hands around hers, and gazed into her eyes] Of course! I remember everything you say. How could I not? It's you. I love listening to you, and always will.

Team Liebhaber Junge von Liebhaberland finally arrived. They did not participate in the battle of the witch with Team Leader Liebhaber Junge von Liebhaberland because Supreme Leader, Team Leader Liebhaber Junge von Liebhaberland wanted to challenge the witch in single combat. However, the witch as always was a dishonourable opponent, with no class at all, she sent the forces of evil against Supreme Leader, King, Team Leader Liebhaber Junge von Liebhaberland. So, the rest of the team members distracted and fought the forces of evil, to give Supreme Leader, King, Sultan, Team Leader Liebhaber Junge von Liebhaberland the opportunity to face the evil witch alone in single combat. Every team member knew, that Supreme Leader, King, Sultan, Khan, Team Leader Liebhaber Junge von Liebhaberland will succeed no matter the odds. He was a man among men, among men, among men, among men. Supreme Leader, King, Sultan, Khan, Pharaoh, Team Leader Liebhaber Junge von Liebhaberland was a living legend. When they arrived and saw the corpse of the witch slain, and the couple together, they all broke up in tears and wished the best for their Supreme Leader, King, Sultan, Khan, Pharaoh, Caliphate, Team Leader Liebhaber Junge von Liebhaberland and his special lady. They wiped their tears, gave each other pats on the back and a good manly hug and in unison they all thought to themselves that maybe they should shout out and praise their Supreme Leader, King, Sultan, Khan, Pharaoh, Caliphate, Führer, Team Leader Liebhaber Junge von Liebhaberland and congratulate him on reuniting with his extremely brilliant, beautiful, kind, cute, sweet-hearted, and best girl of all time Liebhaberin Mädchen. As well as making some jokes towards the lovey-dovey couple. But at the same time, they didn't want to intrude on this momentous moment, because it is incredibly unbelievably rude to do so. Only barbarians with no social etiquette, understanding of traditions and culture will do so. But Team Liebhaber Junge von Liebhaberland had no barbarians, only gentlemen and men of culture. It was a hard decision. What would Supreme Leader, King, Sultan, Khan, Pharaoh, Caliphate, Führer, Shōgun, Team Leader Liebhaber Junge von Liebhaberland would do in this situation if it was him? In unison, Team Liebhaber Junge von Liebhaberland decided to tease their Supreme Leader, King, Sultan, Khan, Pharaoh, Caliphate, Führer, Shōgun, Lord of All the Beasts of the Earth, Team Leader Liebhaber Junge von Liebhaberland. They thought that a little tease won't hurt at all. In fact, it'll make it more fun and friendlier in a way, and he will forgive them. Furthermore, this will make a better story for their Supreme Leader, King, Sultan, Khan, Pharaoh, Caliphate, Führer, Shōgun, Lord of All the Beasts of the Earth and Fishes of the Seas, Team Leader Liebhaber Junge von Liebhaberland's adventure, his tale, his legacy, his legend.

Team Liebhaber Junge von Liebhaberland [all of them smiling while jokingly shouting out] WOOOOOH!!!!! LOOK AT THIS!!! HIS BLUSHING!!!!!! YOUR GOING COMPLETELY RED!!!!!!!!!!! AWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!! WHAT A CUTE COUPLE!!!!!!!!!! YOU CALL YOURSELF A MAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HURRY UP AND KISS THE GIRL!!!!!!!!!!!!!! KISS HER!!!!!!!!!!! KISS HER!!!!!!!!!!!!!! KISS HER!!!!!!!!!!!!!! KISS HER!!!!!!!!!!!!!! KISS HER!!!!!!!!!!!!!! KISS HER!!!!!!!!!!!!!! KISS HER!!!!!!!!!!!!!! KISS HER!!!!!!!!!!!!!! KISS HER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Liebhaber [blushing heavily, while looking down all embarrassed like a little boy, and hitting the floor with his right foot] Come on guys. Stop it. Your embarrassing me.

Liebhaberin [giggling] You got some great friends there.

Liebhaber. They're a rowdy bunch. They're dumb, annoying and uncultured, and have a lack of social grace, but they're great. They've helped me so much and taught me so much about myself and the world.

Liebhaberin. I'm glad you finally made friends. But they do seem quite rowdy but in a fun, friendly way. I'm happy for you to find such great friends.

Liebhaber [gentle tears of happiness streaming down his beautiful magnificent handsome face] I'm grateful and honoured that they are my friends. I don't deserve their loyalty and friendship. I am not worthy.

Liebhaberin. Don't be like that! You're so worthy! You're such a great guy! You're so magnificent! Your friends follow you because you stand above all overs!

Liebhaber. You're probably right. No, you're right. Why are you always so right?

Liebhaberin. Cause I just am. By the way, are all of your friends there all guys?

Liebhaber. Yes, they're all guys. Why do you ask?

Liebhaberin [looking away from Liebhaber with a slight blush] No reason at all.

Liebhaber. [with a smug look on his face and looking directly into her eyes] Really?

Liebhaberin [her face swelling bright red] Really!

Liebhaber [with an even more smug look on his face] Don't tell me, you were getting jealous because they could have been a girl there? Hmmmmmmm?

Liebhaberin [pouting like a child] Of course not! Why would I get jealous!

Liebhaber. [very loudly] Hahahahahahahahahahaha!

Liebhaberin. [very angrily] Stop laughing!

Liebhaber [jokingly] Maybe there was a girl!

Liebhaberin [tries to push him away but failed so she decided to punch him multiple times at his face] That's not funny!

Liebhaber. I'm just joking! A joke! A farce! Sorry! Sorry! Sorry! Oi, that hurt! Stop it! It really was just a joke! Forgive me, please!

Team Liebhaber Junge von Liebhaberland [in unison, jokingly shouting out] WOOOOOOOOOOOH!!!!!!!!!!!! LOOK WHAT WE GOT HERE!!!!!! A LOVERS' QUARREL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOU NAUGHTY BOY!!!!!!!!! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE THIS TIME!!!!!!!!!!! I WOULDN'T TRUST HIM HIS A SLUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Liebhaber [shouting back at them] GUYS SHUT UP!!!!!! YOU'RE MAKING IT WORSE!!!!!! DON'T YOU GUYS HAVE BETTER THINGS TO DO!!!!!

Team Liebhaber Junge von Liebhaberland [in unison, retorting back] NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Liebhaber [with an irritated face] SCREW YOU GUYS!!!!!

Team Liebhaber Junge von Liebhaberland had their fun and decided to leave their Supreme Leader, King, Sultan, Khan, Pharaoh, Caliphate, Führer, Shōgun, Lord of All the Beasts of the Earth and Fishes of the Seas, Team Leader Liebhaber Junge von Liebhaberland alone with his loving fiancée. They didn't want to intrude any further on their special reunion. They left the room and decided to play a card game or something.

Liebhaberin [still pouting like a child] You're so mean!

Liebhaber. I was only teasing! A tease! Forgive me!

Liebhaberin. Really?

Liebhaber. Really?

Liebhaberin. So, they aren't any girls in your team?

Liebhaber. No, only guys. Very ugly guys in fact.

Liebhaberin. Really?

Liebhaber. Really.

Liebhaberin. Next time don't tease me.

Liebhaber. You know you love it.

Liebhaberin [her face going full cherry red and tries to slap him in the face but fails] Stop it!

Liebhaber. Almost had me there. But not quick enough. Oi, stop it! I get it! No more teasing! Forgive me! Forgive me, princess! I really need you to listen to me! It's very special! I must get this out of me!

Liebhaberin [looking very tired after many failed attempts of trying to slap him] What is it?

Liebhaber [looking directly into her eyes with such fierce determination while being so alluring] I have something to tell you. It's very important. It's been in my mind for so long. I must get it out at this very moment. I want you to hear it. No! I need you to hear it!

Liebhaberin [she took a deep breath, place both of her majestic hands onto her charming mouth, staring back into his glistening emerald eyes of perfection] What is it? You know you can tell me anything right? I'm always here for you Liebhaber, and I will always be there for you! No matter what!

Liebhaber. I know. I know. Same to you babe. [he took a deep breath in, his eyes wandered a bit to the floor, to his right and left side, to the ceiling and finally gazing into her lustrous sapphire eyes. Looking into those bewitching eyes gave him tranquillity. He took one more deep breath] Words cannot describe how grateful I am to you! You always dress so remarkably for me! I have always wondered and pondered why it takes you like forever to dress so dam long! But after my long journey, I have found the answer! It was your dedication towards me for dressing so gorgeous! How could I not have realised that! It took me forever to figure that out! I am such a fool! A fool! Fool! A complete and utter fool! Every time I waited for hours for you to dress, it was because of your love towards me! I have always thought it was a woman's thing! But I was wrong! It was for love! For love! Love! I am so grateful and honoured to have you as my loved one! I don't know how to thank you for all of this! I just don't know the right words! Please tell me! How should I say it! What should I say! Please!

Liebhaberin. Oh, Liebhaber! You fool! You don't have to say anything! Anything at all! But I am grateful that you finally noticed. I hope I had dressed beautifully for you!

Liebhaber. Of course! Every time you dress, you're so beautiful like an angel! No! A Goddess! You are a Goddess!

Liebhaberin [taking a step backwards and hiding her very embarrassed red blushing face with her two hands] Your embarrassing me! Stop it!

Liebhaber. Don't be ridiculous! How can I stop it! I can't stop it! And even if I can, I won't stop it! I love you! Your dedication towards me is remarkable! How could I not say anything to you!

Liebhaberin [high pitch girly scream] It really does make me happy. I love you so much! You are so strong, beautiful, handsome and so magnificent! I love you!

Liebhaber. I know. I amaze myself all the time. I am so strong, beautiful, handsome and so magnificent! And you! The love of my life! the greatest person in my life! The most beautiful and the greatest best girl in the whole world! The whole galaxy! The whole universe! The whole multiverse!

Liebhaberin [even higher pitch girly scream] This really is embarrassing!

Liebhaber. Nonsense! Every time that it took you like forever to dress you always came out so ethereal! You are so nice, sweet, kind, funny, intelligent and so gorgeous! No matter how you dress I will always find you so beautiful, so alluring and so enchanting! You always make my heart stop! And no matter what you do or dress like, I will forever in this life and the next, love you for who you are! Truly I am the most blessed man in this world! I have the perfect girl in my life! With you I am complete, there is no possible way for me to be any more happier! You are my entire life! I will do anything to make you happy forever!

Liebhaberin [imagine being in a stadium completely packed with girls of various ages, all listening to the most popular boy band in the whole God dam world. Just imagine, the positive energy of all these girls in unison screaming, shouting, yelling and screeching in the most girliest highest pitch imaginable! That was what it was like when Liebhaberin spoke] I LOVE YOU SO MUCH LIEBHABER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"Pardon me for intruding in your theatrical performance. I'm sure if you decide to become an actor, or an actress, a voice actor, or a voice actress, or a playwright, or a director or all of them, you're be fantastic at all of them. But I think you have wasted enough time, fantasizing. I do hope that you enjoyed your moment though. I really do. But we must meet the adventurers at some point. The sooner the better. Your guests have been waiting for some time. Actually, a long time. A very long time." said, Rudolf.

"Oh! Right. I know. I'll get on it."

"Excellent choice."

Previous Next
Author Works


Sort by:
RoseZer0 Author 3 months ago

Sorry for the late release, was busy with uni and got sick.